Thursday, 30 April 2015

What to do when you lose your self confidence...

...from someone completely not qualified to provide proper advice.


This is purely my story.  I am not really qualified to provide this kind of advice other than what pops into my head and I finally decide to listen to it after drowning it out for a few weeks/month or so, if you truly want/need reliable advice perhaps consult an actual psychologist.  Anyway so here we go with a little 'heart on my sleeve' ditty.... 

If you don't know I moved to Melbourne with my husband and 2 kids about 4 months ago and I came here in the mindset that I was taking a break from work.  I've worked pretty much every weekend since I had my little darlings (now 3 & 5) and I just felt while I had the opportunity I would take some time, we could have some time, to just be a family at the weekends.  Well that was great but the time has come that comes to all that I must go back to work.  I say I must but no-one is making me but I'm ready and its about time I made it happen.


The thing is, I have become to realise, without my work I've taken a real blow to my confidence.  I've realised that for me to be doing 'something' is what makes up a very important part of me, and that I'm not content not fulfilling that part of me.  I went for my first coffee morning meeting at Ollie's new school, the experience was daunting, not that the mums weren't lovely and welcoming, they weren't the problem.  The problem was mine, a problem of confidence.  My husband phoned me afterwards and asked me 'How was it?', 'Did they like you?'.  I suddenly realised I, all of a sudden, have became a person that I don't particularly like much or maybe a better way of seeing it is 'Do I admire myself much right now?' It left me thinking how can I expect these new, uber confident, and established women really like and identify with me if I don't feel myself and feel happy in myself as a person of worth.


I wrote a whole post once about how being 'just a mum' (my words) just wasn't enough for me, I never hit publish because when I read it over I realised what I had written was probably quite offensive.  Offensive to lots of people, in all different situations and to people in those situations who I have as friends. To those of you who have decided to devote all of your time to your gorgeous kids (hats off and I mean that), it was probably a kick in the teeth to those of you who have struggled to have a family and may well give up everything to be 'just a mum', to the mums that have no choice but to work full time and often doing it all and all on their own, well I thought you'd all probably want to drop kick me.  I'm not judging anyone here and I hope the feeling is mutual.  What I am talking about is me in my situation and I would never judge anyone else so if you are offended by what your reading I promise I'm not talking about you, it's all about me (as usual).

{decision time}

As I walked away from that coffee morning, I made a mental decision.  Not to go home via the bakery and buy myself a big bun and latte to drown my sorrows in, but to take action and get on with it.  After you've worked hard at a successful business and left it all behind its quite daunting to go backwards.  Back to 100ish facebook followers, back to trying to establish a name for myself in an already saturated market, to be the new girl, to work hard on my blog for not many people to see it.  However and anyway, so that's where we are!

If you're reading this and feeling the same way I urge you to take action, do something to change the way you're feeling.  Don't let it infest your thoughts and take over your thinking because trust me it will.  Even if it's baby steps decide your plan of action and stick to it.  We should all be on a journey of self development in this world whether its as a person, a parent, an employee, a manager because we've been given a bloody great opportunity in this life and we actually owe it to ourselves to just go for it.

{made over ladies} can see my first baby step here on the blog I've made a new page dedicated to my new Made Over Ladies make up services here in sunny Melbourne (look up at the top or click here).  If you have had any interaction with me in a wedding/makeover/lesson capacity please pop a comment here (scroll down to the little pencil icon) and let people know your thoughts...give me a hand up this steep little ladder back up to my own standard when I can say I've got it back and I'm feeling good because you know what, I miss it and I will get it back.

Soundtrack today was 'Beneath your Beautiful' by Labrinth I too have built my walls a little bit too high x